Sad Today

Today I am feeling sad because of Logan and the unknown.  I know in my heart he will be okay. But, today is not easy.  So many thoughts and feelings going on with me.  But, what I find amazing today is that I have received an email from a great friend with lots of love and support.  And then I thought of two other friends and then they called and they were a great comfort.  Also, I am not good with waiting for answers and that is what I am having to do waiting for the doctors to call and schedule an appointment.  I think as parents we all want nothing to be wrong with our children, we don't want them to be different or have any hard times.  But, I know that I am not in charge of this and I know he will be stronger because of it.  I love this guys so much it hurts.  I keep asking him if he doing okay, if anything hurts and how he is feeling.  I am sure I am driving him crazy and myself.  But, as I am writing this Logan is with his buddies, he couldn't do his homework fast enough because he had to get out the door.  He is very normal and crazy.  I love having this blog so I am able to write all these feelings.  

Another Seizure.......

You just never know how someday's will end up.  Wednesday night we were sitting down getting ready for dinner and I look up because I hear Logan "talking" and I realized he is having another seizure.  I tell Tim to pick him up and put him on the carpet so he will not hurt himself. During all of this Logan's eyes have rolled back and he is holding his arms to his chest, his lips are turning blue, he is not aware of anything going on, he is talking but you can't understand a word of it.  We are scared to death.  I get 911 on the phone and they dispatch the fire truck to our house which feels like forever.  They take him to Banner Desert and the care at the hospital was not helpful at all.  Note to everyone if you have a child with an emergency take them to Phoenix Children's if you can.  The ER doctor call the Neurologist and he decided to put him on Keppra and sent us home.  With not to many instructions about what to do next.  

So for the past 2 days I have been trying to be on the computer and phone trying to figure out our next step.  So I have gotten Logan's records and have faxed them to a neurologist hoping they will see us soon.  

I am so sad for this little guy.  I know he is going to be okay this is just hard for our family to go through since we never know when he will have another one.  And just the image of him having the seizure makes me very sad and upset.  I am stressed about him going to school, riding his bike, being a 5 year old.  But, I know he needs to be as normal as possible and I will do my best to let him be 5.  

I will keep everyone updated............

Gracie

I have finally have some photos of Gracie.  She is doing great.  Today we start swim lessons which I know she is just going to be so excited about.  Gracie is crawling everywhere, pulling herself up on everything, she loves to be outside, talking, Logan can make her bust a gut.  She is getting so big so fast and such a blessing in our lives.  

4 Kids...Who knew

I never thought first of all that I would have 4 children one day let alone so far apart and my last one at 39.  I love the ages of all my children.  We have so many different things going on all the time.  From Meghan going off to work, Allie talking on the phone all the time, Logan running in the door after school and yelling HI and going right back outside to play with his cronies and Gracie who is just excited about chewing on her plastic spoon.  Life is awesome. Even on my worst days I would not trade this in.  My children are amazing young people and I hope they know how much they are loved and grow up to be responsible adults which I know they will.  

I hope Meghan and Allie will become closer as they get to become adults and understand how important it is to love your sister.  Someone the other day was talking about how they couldn't image there life without their sisters and I hope one day my girls will have those feelings about each other.    

This just goes to tell you once again we are not in control of everything.