Sad Today

Today I am feeling sad because of Logan and the unknown.  I know in my heart he will be okay. But, today is not easy.  So many thoughts and feelings going on with me.  But, what I find amazing today is that I have received an email from a great friend with lots of love and support.  And then I thought of two other friends and then they called and they were a great comfort.  Also, I am not good with waiting for answers and that is what I am having to do waiting for the doctors to call and schedule an appointment.  I think as parents we all want nothing to be wrong with our children, we don't want them to be different or have any hard times.  But, I know that I am not in charge of this and I know he will be stronger because of it.  I love this guys so much it hurts.  I keep asking him if he doing okay, if anything hurts and how he is feeling.  I am sure I am driving him crazy and myself.  But, as I am writing this Logan is with his buddies, he couldn't do his homework fast enough because he had to get out the door.  He is very normal and crazy.  I love having this blog so I am able to write all these feelings.  

Another Seizure.......

You just never know how someday's will end up.  Wednesday night we were sitting down getting ready for dinner and I look up because I hear Logan "talking" and I realized he is having another seizure.  I tell Tim to pick him up and put him on the carpet so he will not hurt himself. During all of this Logan's eyes have rolled back and he is holding his arms to his chest, his lips are turning blue, he is not aware of anything going on, he is talking but you can't understand a word of it.  We are scared to death.  I get 911 on the phone and they dispatch the fire truck to our house which feels like forever.  They take him to Banner Desert and the care at the hospital was not helpful at all.  Note to everyone if you have a child with an emergency take them to Phoenix Children's if you can.  The ER doctor call the Neurologist and he decided to put him on Keppra and sent us home.  With not to many instructions about what to do next.  

So for the past 2 days I have been trying to be on the computer and phone trying to figure out our next step.  So I have gotten Logan's records and have faxed them to a neurologist hoping they will see us soon.  

I am so sad for this little guy.  I know he is going to be okay this is just hard for our family to go through since we never know when he will have another one.  And just the image of him having the seizure makes me very sad and upset.  I am stressed about him going to school, riding his bike, being a 5 year old.  But, I know he needs to be as normal as possible and I will do my best to let him be 5.  

I will keep everyone updated............

Gracie

I have finally have some photos of Gracie.  She is doing great.  Today we start swim lessons which I know she is just going to be so excited about.  Gracie is crawling everywhere, pulling herself up on everything, she loves to be outside, talking, Logan can make her bust a gut.  She is getting so big so fast and such a blessing in our lives.  

4 Kids...Who knew

I never thought first of all that I would have 4 children one day let alone so far apart and my last one at 39.  I love the ages of all my children.  We have so many different things going on all the time.  From Meghan going off to work, Allie talking on the phone all the time, Logan running in the door after school and yelling HI and going right back outside to play with his cronies and Gracie who is just excited about chewing on her plastic spoon.  Life is awesome. Even on my worst days I would not trade this in.  My children are amazing young people and I hope they know how much they are loved and grow up to be responsible adults which I know they will.  

I hope Meghan and Allie will become closer as they get to become adults and understand how important it is to love your sister.  Someone the other day was talking about how they couldn't image there life without their sisters and I hope one day my girls will have those feelings about each other.    

This just goes to tell you once again we are not in control of everything.

Logan's Scare

So as we are out of town for my Birthday getting on the elevator and I get a call from Brad saying Logan has had a seizure and he is going to the hospital.  Let me tell you how helpless I felt.  This was the worst feeling in my life.  I know Tim was feeling the same way.  And I felt terrible for Brad and Diane that had to call me and tell us this news.  I can't even imagine what that felt like.  I will forever be indebted to them.  Since I was hours away from being home.  I called all of our family and had them get to the hospital and be by Logan's side as they did all the tests and procedures and to make him feel loved and safe until we got there.  Also, we had a blessing given to him.  After I knew the blessing was given I had a sense of relief come over me and I knew everything was going to be just fine.  We love our families so much.  Thank you all.

Well Logan is doing much better after 2 1/2 days in the hospital and a week off school.  He is back to bugging his sisters and running around the neighborhood just how we like him.  I do worry a little bit more about if he is feeling and of course he just looks at me like what is the big deal.  He doesn't remember any part of his seizure just the drivers name "Tim."  This was a incredible scary thing for our family to go through.  I would like to say it brought us closer as Logan and Allie are picking on each other.  But, I know it has.   

40th Birthday

So for my 40th birthday Tim took me to LA for the weekend just the two of us and we stayed at La Montrose Hotel.  This is a great little hotel.  Would stay here again.  Then Tim took me to see Wicked.  This is the best play I have ever seen.  Everyone must see Wicked if you get a chance.  Then we went back to the hotel and had a great dinner.  It was just a quiet time together.  I got to sleep in for the first time in I can not tell you how long and it was great.  So thank you to my family and friends for helping Tim and I go away for the weekend.  It means more to us than you will ever know.    

Valentine's Day

Let me tell you how wonderful day I had today.  First Tim took the day off so he can spend the day with me.  I went for a quick run, gave all the kids a quick valentine and sent them off to school.  Then Tim and I went out to lunch to Pink Taco (great place).  Then off to the mall.  What a blast.  This is just one of things that I love about my husband is his willingness to take me shopping and stay with it as long as it takes.  We just have a blast together.  

After getting home Meghan was off to the movies and she asked her sister to go with her.  I was so excited for them.  I just hope that they will start to understand how important there are to each other.  Just one more great gift today.    

Lastly,  Allison got a special gift from someone (a boy) it was a heart shaped cake he made for her.  He put it by the front door with kisses all around it and rang to doorbell and left.  We just had a great time with her.  It was very sweet.....Great cake also.  

Just wanted to write about my great day.  Now Tim and I will be off to LA to see Wicked this weekend....